很久沒煮菜了,自從我媽過來。
反正她在,由她喜歡煮什麼就好。
之前因為忙,總是吃外頭,晚餐都煩到不知要吃什麼好,每次吃來吃去都一樣,小瓜一個就是說吃炒飯,另一個就只會說吃麵,變成我們也得跟著吃。
我媽來了后,至少不用煩吃什麼,但是她可能覺得每次煮太多吃不完,所以很多時候只煮一兩樣菜,青菜類少,然后給小瓜吃的就是湯撈飯。
雖然看了覺得營養不夠,但是我都不敢說什麼,不然等下老人家不高興,呵呵。
媽回去后,平時做工的話晚餐照舊在外頭解決,唯打包少了,改直接在外頭吃,有時多叫幾種不同的,不會太單調。
上個拜六沒上班,于是去買菜再下廚,自己煮的怎樣都會好吃過外面的。
可能是很久沒下手煮了,感覺上有點失水準,四菜一湯,都是家常菜且簡單的,而且我比較懂煮素菜,不過兩個小瓜卻可以一盤飯全吃完,是很久沒那麼好胃口了,看了都開心。
問他們好不好吃?他們都說好。
哈哈,做媽媽的煮飯給孩子吃,就是要看孩子吃得多吃得好。
這拜三起又休假,昨天今天明天都會再煮給小瓜吃,基本上菜式沒有多變化,但一天三四樣包括湯是一定要的,女兒尤其很愛喝湯,吃完飯還可喝完一碗湯,棒!
2009年8月28日星期五
laptop回來了
一個多禮拜,我的laptop終于回來了。
是好消息。
可是呵,本來的 XP,變成了VISTA。
明明是XP的,沒交待老公,以為他懂;老公也沒問,拿給他朋友修后,結果出來是VISTA。
很不甘心用,老公安慰說,VISTA很難中病毒。
哼!我才不信。。。
叫老公去叫他朋友弄回XP,老公竟然答:你再用到中毒啦我再拿去修過。
氣倒。
沒法子啦,只好繼續用。
路不轉人轉,人不轉心轉。
自我安慰(*^*)
是好消息。
可是呵,本來的 XP,變成了VISTA。
明明是XP的,沒交待老公,以為他懂;老公也沒問,拿給他朋友修后,結果出來是VISTA。
很不甘心用,老公安慰說,VISTA很難中病毒。
哼!我才不信。。。
叫老公去叫他朋友弄回XP,老公竟然答:你再用到中毒啦我再拿去修過。
氣倒。
沒法子啦,只好繼續用。
路不轉人轉,人不轉心轉。
自我安慰(*^*)
2009年8月20日星期四
我的laptop
laptop有一天不懂怎麼了,不能上網。
本來以為是老公沒繳電話費,結果他去還了,我耐心地等了大半天,還是沒法上網。
等到老公放工回來,他的桌面電腦很正常上網,我趕快試試,奇怪還是不行,老公來試也是一樣沒能讓laptop上到網。
結論是:電腦壞了!
又壞?真是的。
前幾天就出現有病毒了,不懂哪裡惹來,我連移動那個FILE都不敢,結果還是難逃一劫。
借來老公的另一架LAPTOP,VISTA的,很不好用,連我打字用的大易也高人一等,version 6的,跟平時的不太一樣,打字慢且易出錯,害得我都沒有得update我的部落格。
我的laptop咧,拿去format到今天還沒好,應該沒什麼大事,好在前幾天發現它有點不妥后快快把資料備了一份,不然呵,欲哭無淚。
現在是用老公的laptop打字,真是不好用,一直打出錯字,浪費很多精力時間。
不寫了,今天這篇只是要告訴想念我的人說:我還在啦!
哈哈哈!
我的laptop啊,你也快快好起來吧!我戒不掉你咧...嗚嗚嗚....
本來以為是老公沒繳電話費,結果他去還了,我耐心地等了大半天,還是沒法上網。
等到老公放工回來,他的桌面電腦很正常上網,我趕快試試,奇怪還是不行,老公來試也是一樣沒能讓laptop上到網。
結論是:電腦壞了!
又壞?真是的。
前幾天就出現有病毒了,不懂哪裡惹來,我連移動那個FILE都不敢,結果還是難逃一劫。
借來老公的另一架LAPTOP,VISTA的,很不好用,連我打字用的大易也高人一等,version 6的,跟平時的不太一樣,打字慢且易出錯,害得我都沒有得update我的部落格。
我的laptop咧,拿去format到今天還沒好,應該沒什麼大事,好在前幾天發現它有點不妥后快快把資料備了一份,不然呵,欲哭無淚。
現在是用老公的laptop打字,真是不好用,一直打出錯字,浪費很多精力時間。
不寫了,今天這篇只是要告訴想念我的人說:我還在啦!
哈哈哈!
我的laptop啊,你也快快好起來吧!我戒不掉你咧...嗚嗚嗚....
2009年8月12日星期三
我永遠站在雞蛋那方──村上春樹在耶路撒冷的演講
作者:村上春树 整理:张翔一 提供:苏颖欣
轉載自:顧記客棧
以色列政府空袭迦萨,获颁耶路撒冷文学奖的日本知名小说家村上春树受到国内外压力,犹疑是否该出席颁奖,结局是,他去了,并掀起了比小说更为震动世人的馀波。
现年六十岁的日本作家村上春树,被《时代杂志》喻为当代最具国际影响力的日本作家。
村 上春树三度问鼎诺贝尔文学奖,被媒体形容为继川端康成、大江健三郎之后,「离诺贝尔文学奖最近的日本人」。他包括《挪威的森林》在内的多部长篇小说作品, 陆续被翻译成四十多国语言,全球销售超过两千万册,近年陆续获得捷克「卡夫卡文学奖」、爱尔兰「法兰克.欧康纳国际短篇小说奖」等多项国际文学奖项肯定。
今年二月初,村上春树获颁耶路撒冷文学奖。该奖项每两年颁发一次,表彰对人类自由、社会公平、政治民主具贡献的作家。历届得奖者包括西蒙波娃、罗素、米兰昆德拉等。
讽刺的是,颁发奖项的以色列政府,近来空袭迦萨,备受国际和平团体批评。日本舆论因此要求村上春树为避免被认为支持以色列近来的军事行动,应拒领该奖项,否则将抵制其作品。
但二月十五日,村上春树在国内外压力下,仍选择赴耶路撒冷出席颁奖典礼。他更出人意料地,在以色列总统佩雷斯面前,公开批判以色列的军事行动,同时一吐作为文学创作者,希望透过描写微不足道的个人,对抗既有权力和体制的深层意义。
村上春树于耶路撒冷的英语演讲辞「永远站在鸡蛋的那方」,道出个人应有的道德勇气、与对体制霸权的深刻反省,随即被国际媒体竞相转载,更超越文坛,在国际政治、人权组织间引起广大迴响。
Today, I have no intention of lying .
今天,我不打算说谎
I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
今天我以一名小说家的身分来到耶路撒冷。而小说家,正是所谓的职业谎言製造者。
Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders.
当然,不只小说家会说谎。众所周知,政治人物也会说谎。外交官、将军、二手车业务员、屠夫和建筑师亦不例外。
The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
但是小说家的谎言和其他人不同。没有人会责怪小说家说谎不道德。相反地,小说家愈努力说谎,把谎言说得愈大愈好,大众和评论家反而愈讚赏他。为什麽?
My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it.
我的答案是:藉由高超的谎言,也就是创作出几可乱真的小说情节,小说家才能将真相带到新的地方,也才能赋予它新的光辉。
In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form.
在大多数的情况下,我们几乎无法掌握真相,也无法精准的描绘真相。因此,必须把真相从藏匿处挖掘出来,转化到另一个虚构的时空,用虚构的形式来表达。
In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
但是在此之前,我们必须先清楚知道,真相就在我们心中的某处。这是小说家编造好谎言的必要条件。
Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
今天,我不打算说谎。我会尽可能地诚实。我在一年之中只有几天不会说谎,今天刚好就是其中之一。
So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
请容我告诉你们真相。在日本,许多人建议我不要来这裡接受耶路撒冷文学奖。甚至有人警告我,如果我坚持前来,他们会联合抵制我的小说。
The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
主要的原因,当然是迦萨正在发生的激烈战斗。根据联合国调查,在被封锁的迦萨城内,已经有超过千人丧生,许多人是手无寸铁的平民、孩童和老人。
Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
我收到获奖通知后,不断问自己:此时到耶路撒冷接受文学奖,是否正确?这会不会让人认为我支持冲突中的某一方,或认为我支持一个发动压倒性武力攻击的国家政策?老实说,我也不想看到自己的书被抵制。
Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that."
经过反覆思考,我还是决定来到这裡。原因之一是,太多人反对我来。我和许多小说家一样,总是要做人们反对的事情。如果有人对我说,尤其是警告我说,「不要去」、「不要这麽做」,我通常反而会特别想去、特别想做。
It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
这就是小说家的天性。小说家是特别的族群,除非亲眼所见,亲手触摸,否则他们不会相信任何事情。
And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
我来到这裡,我选择亲身面对而非置身事外;我选择亲眼目睹而非矇蔽双眼;我选择开口说话,而非沉默不语。
This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course. It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
但是这不代表我要发表任何政治讯息。判断对错,当然是小说家的重要责任,但如何传递判断,每个作家有不同的选择。我个人偏好用故事、尤其用超现实的故事来表达。因此,我今天不会在你们面前发表任何直接的政治讯息。
Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
不过,请容我在这裡向你们传达一个非常私人的讯息。这是我创作时永远牢记在心的话语。我从未将这句话真正行诸文字或贴在牆壁,而是刻划在我心灵深处的牆上。这句话是这样的: "Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg." Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg.
「以卵击石,在高大坚硬的牆和鸡蛋之间,我永远站在鸡蛋那方。」 无论高牆是多麽正确,鸡蛋是多麽地错误,我永远站在鸡蛋这边。
Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
谁是谁非,自有他人、时间、历史来定论。但若小说家无论何种原因,写出站在高牆这方的作品,这作品岂有任何价值可言?
What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
这代表什麽意思呢?轰炸机、战车、火箭和白磷弹就是那堵高牆;而被它们压碎、烧焦和射杀的平民则是鸡蛋。这是这个比喻的其中一层涵义。
This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell.
更深一层的看,我们每个人,也或多或少都是一枚鸡蛋。我们都是独一无二,装在脆弱外壳中的灵魂。
This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
你我也或多或少,都必须面对一堵名为「体制」的高牆。体制照理应该保护我们,但有时它却残杀我们,或迫使我们冷酷、有效率、系统化地残杀别人。
We made The System.
是我们创造了体制
I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it.
我写小说只有一个原因,就是给予每个灵魂尊严,让它们得以沐浴在阳光之下。
The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them.
故事的目的在于提醒世人,在于检视体制,避免它驯化我们的灵魂、剥夺灵魂的意义。
I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我深信小说家的职责就是透过创作故事,关于生死、爱情、让人感动落泪、恐惧颤抖或开怀大笑的故事,让人们意识到每个灵魂的独一无二和不可取代。这就是我们为何日复一日,如此严肃编织小说的原因。
My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. 我九十岁的父亲去年过世。他是位退休老师和兼职的和尚。当他在京都的研究所念书时,被强制徵召到中国打仗。
As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house.
身为战后出生的小孩,我很好奇为何他每天早餐前,都在家中佛坛非常虔诚地祈祷。
One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war. He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike.
有一次我问他原因,他说他是在为所有死于战争的人们祈祷,无论是战友或敌人。
Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
看着他跪在佛坛前的背影,我似乎感受到周遭环绕着死亡的阴影。
My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我父亲过世了,带走那些我永远无法尽知的记忆。但环绕他周遭那些死亡的阴影却留在我的记忆中。这是我从他身上继承的少数东西之一,却也是最重要的东西之一。
I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System.
今天,我只希望能向你们传达一个讯息。我们都是人类,超越国籍、种族和宗教,我们都只是一枚面对体制高牆的脆弱鸡蛋。
To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold.
无论怎麽看,我们都毫无胜算。牆实在是太高、太坚硬,也太过冷酷了。
If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
战胜它的唯一可能,只来自于我们全心相信每个灵魂都是独一无二的,只来自于我们全心相信灵魂彼此融合,所能产生的温暖。
Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing.
请花些时间思考这点:我们每个人都拥有独特而活生生的灵魂,体制却没有。
We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own.
我们不能允许体制剥削我们,我们不能允许体制自行其道。
The System did not make us: We made The System.
体制并未创造我们:是我们创造了体制。
That is all I have to say to you.
这就是我想对你们说的。
I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
我很感谢能够获得耶路撒冷文学奖。我很感谢世界各地有那麽多的读者。我很高兴有机会向各位发表演说。
轉載自:顧記客棧
以色列政府空袭迦萨,获颁耶路撒冷文学奖的日本知名小说家村上春树受到国内外压力,犹疑是否该出席颁奖,结局是,他去了,并掀起了比小说更为震动世人的馀波。
现年六十岁的日本作家村上春树,被《时代杂志》喻为当代最具国际影响力的日本作家。
村 上春树三度问鼎诺贝尔文学奖,被媒体形容为继川端康成、大江健三郎之后,「离诺贝尔文学奖最近的日本人」。他包括《挪威的森林》在内的多部长篇小说作品, 陆续被翻译成四十多国语言,全球销售超过两千万册,近年陆续获得捷克「卡夫卡文学奖」、爱尔兰「法兰克.欧康纳国际短篇小说奖」等多项国际文学奖项肯定。
今年二月初,村上春树获颁耶路撒冷文学奖。该奖项每两年颁发一次,表彰对人类自由、社会公平、政治民主具贡献的作家。历届得奖者包括西蒙波娃、罗素、米兰昆德拉等。
讽刺的是,颁发奖项的以色列政府,近来空袭迦萨,备受国际和平团体批评。日本舆论因此要求村上春树为避免被认为支持以色列近来的军事行动,应拒领该奖项,否则将抵制其作品。
但二月十五日,村上春树在国内外压力下,仍选择赴耶路撒冷出席颁奖典礼。他更出人意料地,在以色列总统佩雷斯面前,公开批判以色列的军事行动,同时一吐作为文学创作者,希望透过描写微不足道的个人,对抗既有权力和体制的深层意义。
村上春树于耶路撒冷的英语演讲辞「永远站在鸡蛋的那方」,道出个人应有的道德勇气、与对体制霸权的深刻反省,随即被国际媒体竞相转载,更超越文坛,在国际政治、人权组织间引起广大迴响。
Today, I have no intention of lying .
今天,我不打算说谎
I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
今天我以一名小说家的身分来到耶路撒冷。而小说家,正是所谓的职业谎言製造者。
Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders.
当然,不只小说家会说谎。众所周知,政治人物也会说谎。外交官、将军、二手车业务员、屠夫和建筑师亦不例外。
The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
但是小说家的谎言和其他人不同。没有人会责怪小说家说谎不道德。相反地,小说家愈努力说谎,把谎言说得愈大愈好,大众和评论家反而愈讚赏他。为什麽?
My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it.
我的答案是:藉由高超的谎言,也就是创作出几可乱真的小说情节,小说家才能将真相带到新的地方,也才能赋予它新的光辉。
In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form.
在大多数的情况下,我们几乎无法掌握真相,也无法精准的描绘真相。因此,必须把真相从藏匿处挖掘出来,转化到另一个虚构的时空,用虚构的形式来表达。
In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
但是在此之前,我们必须先清楚知道,真相就在我们心中的某处。这是小说家编造好谎言的必要条件。
Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
今天,我不打算说谎。我会尽可能地诚实。我在一年之中只有几天不会说谎,今天刚好就是其中之一。
So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
请容我告诉你们真相。在日本,许多人建议我不要来这裡接受耶路撒冷文学奖。甚至有人警告我,如果我坚持前来,他们会联合抵制我的小说。
The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
主要的原因,当然是迦萨正在发生的激烈战斗。根据联合国调查,在被封锁的迦萨城内,已经有超过千人丧生,许多人是手无寸铁的平民、孩童和老人。
Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
我收到获奖通知后,不断问自己:此时到耶路撒冷接受文学奖,是否正确?这会不会让人认为我支持冲突中的某一方,或认为我支持一个发动压倒性武力攻击的国家政策?老实说,我也不想看到自己的书被抵制。
Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that."
经过反覆思考,我还是决定来到这裡。原因之一是,太多人反对我来。我和许多小说家一样,总是要做人们反对的事情。如果有人对我说,尤其是警告我说,「不要去」、「不要这麽做」,我通常反而会特别想去、特别想做。
It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
这就是小说家的天性。小说家是特别的族群,除非亲眼所见,亲手触摸,否则他们不会相信任何事情。
And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
我来到这裡,我选择亲身面对而非置身事外;我选择亲眼目睹而非矇蔽双眼;我选择开口说话,而非沉默不语。
This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course. It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
但是这不代表我要发表任何政治讯息。判断对错,当然是小说家的重要责任,但如何传递判断,每个作家有不同的选择。我个人偏好用故事、尤其用超现实的故事来表达。因此,我今天不会在你们面前发表任何直接的政治讯息。
Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
不过,请容我在这裡向你们传达一个非常私人的讯息。这是我创作时永远牢记在心的话语。我从未将这句话真正行诸文字或贴在牆壁,而是刻划在我心灵深处的牆上。这句话是这样的: "Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg." Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg.
「以卵击石,在高大坚硬的牆和鸡蛋之间,我永远站在鸡蛋那方。」 无论高牆是多麽正确,鸡蛋是多麽地错误,我永远站在鸡蛋这边。
Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
谁是谁非,自有他人、时间、历史来定论。但若小说家无论何种原因,写出站在高牆这方的作品,这作品岂有任何价值可言?
What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
这代表什麽意思呢?轰炸机、战车、火箭和白磷弹就是那堵高牆;而被它们压碎、烧焦和射杀的平民则是鸡蛋。这是这个比喻的其中一层涵义。
This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell.
更深一层的看,我们每个人,也或多或少都是一枚鸡蛋。我们都是独一无二,装在脆弱外壳中的灵魂。
This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
你我也或多或少,都必须面对一堵名为「体制」的高牆。体制照理应该保护我们,但有时它却残杀我们,或迫使我们冷酷、有效率、系统化地残杀别人。
We made The System.
是我们创造了体制
I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it.
我写小说只有一个原因,就是给予每个灵魂尊严,让它们得以沐浴在阳光之下。
The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them.
故事的目的在于提醒世人,在于检视体制,避免它驯化我们的灵魂、剥夺灵魂的意义。
I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我深信小说家的职责就是透过创作故事,关于生死、爱情、让人感动落泪、恐惧颤抖或开怀大笑的故事,让人们意识到每个灵魂的独一无二和不可取代。这就是我们为何日复一日,如此严肃编织小说的原因。
My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. 我九十岁的父亲去年过世。他是位退休老师和兼职的和尚。当他在京都的研究所念书时,被强制徵召到中国打仗。
As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house.
身为战后出生的小孩,我很好奇为何他每天早餐前,都在家中佛坛非常虔诚地祈祷。
One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war. He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike.
有一次我问他原因,他说他是在为所有死于战争的人们祈祷,无论是战友或敌人。
Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
看着他跪在佛坛前的背影,我似乎感受到周遭环绕着死亡的阴影。
My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我父亲过世了,带走那些我永远无法尽知的记忆。但环绕他周遭那些死亡的阴影却留在我的记忆中。这是我从他身上继承的少数东西之一,却也是最重要的东西之一。
I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System.
今天,我只希望能向你们传达一个讯息。我们都是人类,超越国籍、种族和宗教,我们都只是一枚面对体制高牆的脆弱鸡蛋。
To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold.
无论怎麽看,我们都毫无胜算。牆实在是太高、太坚硬,也太过冷酷了。
If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
战胜它的唯一可能,只来自于我们全心相信每个灵魂都是独一无二的,只来自于我们全心相信灵魂彼此融合,所能产生的温暖。
Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing.
请花些时间思考这点:我们每个人都拥有独特而活生生的灵魂,体制却没有。
We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own.
我们不能允许体制剥削我们,我们不能允许体制自行其道。
The System did not make us: We made The System.
体制并未创造我们:是我们创造了体制。
That is all I have to say to you.
这就是我想对你们说的。
I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
我很感谢能够获得耶路撒冷文学奖。我很感谢世界各地有那麽多的读者。我很高兴有机会向各位发表演说。
2009年8月9日星期日
謝謝呵
代班時會遇到不同的編輯,向來又不是很會跟人家打交道的我,一開始總是差不多最后一分鐘才跟他們打個電話說:XX啊,馬六甲XX呵,今天古城你編呵?呃...我們最后一則稿上完了,沒有問題呵?謝謝。
就掛掉電話了,呵呵。
而他們也向來沒有特別交待什麼,除非建議的新聞要換版或取代其他稿。
后來比較進步一點,大家開始用msn,于是我在代班時就會on著,看看他們誰負責馬六甲。
看來看去主要編馬六甲的有三個,其中一個應該是老老大來的,最近才拿到他的msn,把他列為聯絡人后,他好像沒有理我,所以只有繼續電話聯絡。
至于其他兩個,一個給我叫成大哥(我猜想他應該是負責古城最年輕的一個),一個呢應該是再老一點的,想想代班要靠他們總得要“裝熟”一點,所以也叫他老大,哈哈,反正兩個都比我大,這樣叫他們,他們也應該是樂在其中的。
老老大咧,聽說是比較難商量的一個,跟他聯絡,覺得他是嚴肅了一點,雖然常常希望不會碰上他,因為比較壓力,但還算ok啦,編版的人有時有自己的意建也不錯一下的,像那天州議會時,隔天封面的新聞題設計得滿好的,尤其那個“豬”字,黑粗體加上黃色“外套”就變得很有生氣了。
有時也發現編輯一天不只要編一個州,有時兼編兩州,全權負責那種,老大有時會跟我說他編要死哪還有時間來跟我確認有什麼稿漏掉,另外大哥咧偶爾在網上遇到他時,會拋出一些一下子看不明白的話,哈哈,他就是相當幽默一下的,而且還相當有墨水,有時他的話模稜兩可到害我還會錯意說錯話,結果就給他提醒我的IQ跟EQ都要提升...(=.=")
跟這兩位前輩的溝通還不錯,有時他們瞬間的一句話,都會讓我很窩心。
像老大,今天以為是他編古城,原來不是,告訴我是老老大,最后還送我一個pom-pom girl的小動畫,我還以為他要講什麼,原來那是“加油”。
一時突然覺得有一些動力起來,難得編輯也會叫我加油,撼馬上回他一個“謝謝”,既然對方如此勉勵,那我也得有一點“表示”才是嘛。
然后剛好今天休假的大哥咧,本來在享受在家的時間,后來還自動通知我是誰負責古城,明天才會輪到他,他還說出一句:明天我們一起努力!
我說:好啊,多多指教囉,然后還故意弄他說:你是前輩,我很多東西要靠你咧....
結果他開始“嫌棄”我的話,回應說他沒那麼老啦(其實是他告訴我他快幾十歲的),而且還說:靠山山會倒,我們要一起互撐...
說真的,代班的壓力跟瑣碎事很煩,做得很“悶”一下,偶爾相隔另一邊但得共事的同事如此有心,心裡就開始想一定要做到好好,不然上的材料不好,廚師也難煮出好料啊...大家都在同一條線上,要互相扶持才是。
想跟這老大跟大哥說:謝謝你們呵!
就掛掉電話了,呵呵。
而他們也向來沒有特別交待什麼,除非建議的新聞要換版或取代其他稿。
后來比較進步一點,大家開始用msn,于是我在代班時就會on著,看看他們誰負責馬六甲。
看來看去主要編馬六甲的有三個,其中一個應該是老老大來的,最近才拿到他的msn,把他列為聯絡人后,他好像沒有理我,所以只有繼續電話聯絡。
至于其他兩個,一個給我叫成大哥(我猜想他應該是負責古城最年輕的一個),一個呢應該是再老一點的,想想代班要靠他們總得要“裝熟”一點,所以也叫他老大,哈哈,反正兩個都比我大,這樣叫他們,他們也應該是樂在其中的。
老老大咧,聽說是比較難商量的一個,跟他聯絡,覺得他是嚴肅了一點,雖然常常希望不會碰上他,因為比較壓力,但還算ok啦,編版的人有時有自己的意建也不錯一下的,像那天州議會時,隔天封面的新聞題設計得滿好的,尤其那個“豬”字,黑粗體加上黃色“外套”就變得很有生氣了。
有時也發現編輯一天不只要編一個州,有時兼編兩州,全權負責那種,老大有時會跟我說他編要死哪還有時間來跟我確認有什麼稿漏掉,另外大哥咧偶爾在網上遇到他時,會拋出一些一下子看不明白的話,哈哈,他就是相當幽默一下的,而且還相當有墨水,有時他的話模稜兩可到害我還會錯意說錯話,結果就給他提醒我的IQ跟EQ都要提升...(=.=")
跟這兩位前輩的溝通還不錯,有時他們瞬間的一句話,都會讓我很窩心。
像老大,今天以為是他編古城,原來不是,告訴我是老老大,最后還送我一個pom-pom girl的小動畫,我還以為他要講什麼,原來那是“加油”。
一時突然覺得有一些動力起來,難得編輯也會叫我加油,撼馬上回他一個“謝謝”,既然對方如此勉勵,那我也得有一點“表示”才是嘛。
然后剛好今天休假的大哥咧,本來在享受在家的時間,后來還自動通知我是誰負責古城,明天才會輪到他,他還說出一句:明天我們一起努力!
我說:好啊,多多指教囉,然后還故意弄他說:你是前輩,我很多東西要靠你咧....
結果他開始“嫌棄”我的話,回應說他沒那麼老啦(其實是他告訴我他快幾十歲的),而且還說:靠山山會倒,我們要一起互撐...
說真的,代班的壓力跟瑣碎事很煩,做得很“悶”一下,偶爾相隔另一邊但得共事的同事如此有心,心裡就開始想一定要做到好好,不然上的材料不好,廚師也難煮出好料啊...大家都在同一條線上,要互相扶持才是。
想跟這老大跟大哥說:謝謝你們呵!
2009年8月8日星期六
莫拉克颱風
莫拉克颱風襲台,連老公都遭殃。
恰好就在這時候去台灣,恰好颱風在他們的回馬班機航程時沒有離去。
好不容易盼到老公終于可以回來,兩個寶貝也想爸爸爸了,女兒還看著爸爸的照片吻了又吻,自己嘀咕說:"爸爸...我很想念你誒....”時不時又說:媽咪,我很想念爸爸咧....
原以為今早老公順利搭8點的機回來,后來說可能延至中午12點,結果最后所有班機取消,只有等明天。
剛上網看新聞,氣象局說最颱風情況最快明天上午才好轉,不懂老公能不能在明早8點的機順利飛回來,不然中午的機也好。
雖然老公說在酒店很安全,但是整天在裡邊看著大風大雨一連三天三夜了,哪會不擔心呢?
這是老公第二次出國,這次算“乖”了,上了機起飛之前會跟我說,到了台北也會sms來通知,然后每個晚上也會sms來問我和兩個寶貝怎麼樣。
之前一次,是在結婚前,那時老公去南京,印象中那時一個電話都沒有,好在婚后有別,自己以為他什麼消息也不會告知的了,但是有意外,改變了,呵呵,有進步^^
希望大風大雨快快結束,不只是讓老公平安回來,整個台灣也不會變得更嚴重,老天啊,您保佑保佑啊!
恰好就在這時候去台灣,恰好颱風在他們的回馬班機航程時沒有離去。
好不容易盼到老公終于可以回來,兩個寶貝也想爸爸爸了,女兒還看著爸爸的照片吻了又吻,自己嘀咕說:"爸爸...我很想念你誒....”時不時又說:媽咪,我很想念爸爸咧....
原以為今早老公順利搭8點的機回來,后來說可能延至中午12點,結果最后所有班機取消,只有等明天。
剛上網看新聞,氣象局說最颱風情況最快明天上午才好轉,不懂老公能不能在明早8點的機順利飛回來,不然中午的機也好。
雖然老公說在酒店很安全,但是整天在裡邊看著大風大雨一連三天三夜了,哪會不擔心呢?
這是老公第二次出國,這次算“乖”了,上了機起飛之前會跟我說,到了台北也會sms來通知,然后每個晚上也會sms來問我和兩個寶貝怎麼樣。
之前一次,是在結婚前,那時老公去南京,印象中那時一個電話都沒有,好在婚后有別,自己以為他什麼消息也不會告知的了,但是有意外,改變了,呵呵,有進步^^
希望大風大雨快快結束,不只是讓老公平安回來,整個台灣也不會變得更嚴重,老天啊,您保佑保佑啊!
2009年8月6日星期四
小朋友
無聊在玩網上遊戲,messenger開著,本來是想跟一個朋友聊天,怎知冒出另一個小朋友。
這小朋友原來是我學記的朋友,把他加入我的聯絡人名單時,以為是那學記,原來不是。
那時應該是學記借這朋友的郵址要傳東西給我,第一次就說他是哪個理事。
剛才,這小朋友一開始就說他是xx的朋友,下來的一句是:我可以做朋友嗎?
我跟他說他照片看起來像我學記,然后他就直接報告他的名字,再問我叫什麼名。
呵呵看來他不知道我是誰,我照實說名字,他就問我幾歲人,他今年16歲。
哈哈,應該是那種少年要交女生做朋友的心態了,我復他時說:你可以叫我安娣了。
他反問我為什麼?我老實說:我30歲了。
他的反應是:哇!
哈哈,我問他是不是嚇到了?他說:有一點。我再告訴他我是學記的負責人,他才:“哦哦”回過神來的樣子。
他說我看起來年輕,不像30歲人;我說:我只是看起來小,比他們大多了。
他就:嗯,哈哈;我問他:那還要不要做朋友?叫他如果覺得我太老不適合做朋友,不用不好意思告訴我,他卻回應說要啊,還說不會亂亂放棄的。
呵呵,不懂是不是在不好意思卻硬要逞強。
接著,這小朋友問我:你的性是什麼?
哈哈,我笑出來,雖然明白他是要問我“姓”什麼,卻打出了個“性”,本來很想回他說:我是人家媽媽當然性是女的啦,但還是反問回他:什麼我的性?
他還沒發現自己打錯字,還很直然地回答:我性李,你性什麼?
呵呵,又來一次,我給他提醒,他才恍然大悟。
他又問我做什麼工?我說我是記者啊,才會當學記負責人,他又:“哦哦”回應。
沒一下子,不懂是怕了我嗎,說他要去幫媽媽做糕了,過后還要讀書,下來就是改天再聊了。
哈哈哈....這個故事可以叫作:《小朋友不小心遇到美少婦》^^
這小朋友原來是我學記的朋友,把他加入我的聯絡人名單時,以為是那學記,原來不是。
那時應該是學記借這朋友的郵址要傳東西給我,第一次就說他是哪個理事。
剛才,這小朋友一開始就說他是xx的朋友,下來的一句是:我可以做朋友嗎?
我跟他說他照片看起來像我學記,然后他就直接報告他的名字,再問我叫什麼名。
呵呵看來他不知道我是誰,我照實說名字,他就問我幾歲人,他今年16歲。
哈哈,應該是那種少年要交女生做朋友的心態了,我復他時說:你可以叫我安娣了。
他反問我為什麼?我老實說:我30歲了。
他的反應是:哇!
哈哈,我問他是不是嚇到了?他說:有一點。我再告訴他我是學記的負責人,他才:“哦哦”回過神來的樣子。
他說我看起來年輕,不像30歲人;我說:我只是看起來小,比他們大多了。
他就:嗯,哈哈;我問他:那還要不要做朋友?叫他如果覺得我太老不適合做朋友,不用不好意思告訴我,他卻回應說要啊,還說不會亂亂放棄的。
呵呵,不懂是不是在不好意思卻硬要逞強。
接著,這小朋友問我:你的性是什麼?
哈哈,我笑出來,雖然明白他是要問我“姓”什麼,卻打出了個“性”,本來很想回他說:我是人家媽媽當然性是女的啦,但還是反問回他:什麼我的性?
他還沒發現自己打錯字,還很直然地回答:我性李,你性什麼?
呵呵,又來一次,我給他提醒,他才恍然大悟。
他又問我做什麼工?我說我是記者啊,才會當學記負責人,他又:“哦哦”回應。
沒一下子,不懂是怕了我嗎,說他要去幫媽媽做糕了,過后還要讀書,下來就是改天再聊了。
哈哈哈....這個故事可以叫作:《小朋友不小心遇到美少婦》^^
2009年8月4日星期二
糊塗
老公今天出走,去台灣,8日才回來。
平時載孩子回家的工,變成我的工。
老公今早5點多就出門了,早上載孩子去學校我還很順利記得,但是,今天代班,下午跑州議會的同事回來,我也趕著打峇峇文化稿,已經不記得是幾點了。
突然電話響,對方開口便問:請問是哲瀅的媽媽嗎?
我才恍然大悟,原來我忘了載女兒放學啊!
真是夠糊塗的!
沒辦法,我只好丟下手上的工,馬上飛過去載女兒,一路上卻很多車,弄得我又心急女兒又擔心總社編輯找,來回報館和家還是要一個鐘。
結果一回到報館,審稿的文件裡有15篇稿,編輯打電話來了,也能理解他不高興,等了整個鐘沒有稿再上,以為沒稿了,封面封底也還沒建議,呵呵只好跟他說不好意思,快快上稿。
結果建議了封面,州議會的,編輯說,那些照片很不好看咧,我也沒法子啦,州議會的照片能怎麼樣,他還說,今天整個古城版照片很差啊.....
我也無言以對了....
死到怎樣,明天看報紙就懂啦......
呵呵,真是抱歉啊...
平時載孩子回家的工,變成我的工。
老公今早5點多就出門了,早上載孩子去學校我還很順利記得,但是,今天代班,下午跑州議會的同事回來,我也趕著打峇峇文化稿,已經不記得是幾點了。
突然電話響,對方開口便問:請問是哲瀅的媽媽嗎?
我才恍然大悟,原來我忘了載女兒放學啊!
真是夠糊塗的!
沒辦法,我只好丟下手上的工,馬上飛過去載女兒,一路上卻很多車,弄得我又心急女兒又擔心總社編輯找,來回報館和家還是要一個鐘。
結果一回到報館,審稿的文件裡有15篇稿,編輯打電話來了,也能理解他不高興,等了整個鐘沒有稿再上,以為沒稿了,封面封底也還沒建議,呵呵只好跟他說不好意思,快快上稿。
結果建議了封面,州議會的,編輯說,那些照片很不好看咧,我也沒法子啦,州議會的照片能怎麼樣,他還說,今天整個古城版照片很差啊.....
我也無言以對了....
死到怎樣,明天看報紙就懂啦......
呵呵,真是抱歉啊...
2009年8月1日星期六
送鞋
那天馬六甲的處處水災,自己也得跑一場。
但是車上沒有拖鞋,于是乎,隨便啦,發揮“村姑”的本色,拖下了運動鞋就下車。
一下車顏大律師看見我赤腳,叫我:誒去買雙拖鞋啦。
幸好那個災區附近有很多間鞋店,隨便就去了應該是買最多隨隨便便拖鞋的那家,時間緊逼,選來選去找不到合心意的,不是要美,但就要找適合我的腳,鞋底又不會滑的那種。
那裡的拖鞋怎麼都很大號,我看中的只剩小號,擠不進我的腳。
顏大律師有點不耐煩了,他也幫我找,竟然找來我平時都不會看上眼的塑膠鞋,設計還很“時尚”的那種,白色,很多個洞的,而且還有亮晶晶的假鑽。
不是自己要的鞋,但是時間緊逼,我就隨便了,反正是跑水災穿的,不理那麼多了,試一下腳可以進,就on了。
要還錢時,顏大律師竟然搶著我給錢,那收銀員也很識趣只拿男人的錢。
跟顏大律師說啊,不可以買鞋給女生的。
他問我是這樣咩?為什麼?
呵呵其實我也不懂為什麼,但印象中中學那時朋友們就說不可送鞋給女生,忘了當時的意思是叫女的跑路咧,還是說鞋跟“邪”同音,不可以送。
做工做到一半,顏大律師還突然間想起,跟我說:我買鞋給你不是叫你跑路,是叫你跑得快一點。
哈哈哈!是囉,做工要跑得快一點,快一點才可以追到新聞不會漏照片。
真是的,被送一雙鞋還有點沉重,沒什麼好意頭。
不是怪或嫌顏大律師送鞋,只是一想工作就有點....還是要感謝他送的那雙鞋,果然在水裡很好用,不會滑哦,改次大家可以考慮買,呵呵呵^^
但是車上沒有拖鞋,于是乎,隨便啦,發揮“村姑”的本色,拖下了運動鞋就下車。
一下車顏大律師看見我赤腳,叫我:誒去買雙拖鞋啦。
幸好那個災區附近有很多間鞋店,隨便就去了應該是買最多隨隨便便拖鞋的那家,時間緊逼,選來選去找不到合心意的,不是要美,但就要找適合我的腳,鞋底又不會滑的那種。
那裡的拖鞋怎麼都很大號,我看中的只剩小號,擠不進我的腳。
顏大律師有點不耐煩了,他也幫我找,竟然找來我平時都不會看上眼的塑膠鞋,設計還很“時尚”的那種,白色,很多個洞的,而且還有亮晶晶的假鑽。
不是自己要的鞋,但是時間緊逼,我就隨便了,反正是跑水災穿的,不理那麼多了,試一下腳可以進,就on了。
要還錢時,顏大律師竟然搶著我給錢,那收銀員也很識趣只拿男人的錢。
跟顏大律師說啊,不可以買鞋給女生的。
他問我是這樣咩?為什麼?
呵呵其實我也不懂為什麼,但印象中中學那時朋友們就說不可送鞋給女生,忘了當時的意思是叫女的跑路咧,還是說鞋跟“邪”同音,不可以送。
做工做到一半,顏大律師還突然間想起,跟我說:我買鞋給你不是叫你跑路,是叫你跑得快一點。
哈哈哈!是囉,做工要跑得快一點,快一點才可以追到新聞不會漏照片。
真是的,被送一雙鞋還有點沉重,沒什麼好意頭。
不是怪或嫌顏大律師送鞋,只是一想工作就有點....還是要感謝他送的那雙鞋,果然在水裡很好用,不會滑哦,改次大家可以考慮買,呵呵呵^^
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